second day of syawal 1435H....

morning begins with a smile on everyone at home, i.e. me, mum and my brother...

i saw mum prepared the gravy for mee jawa.... and then prepared the gravy for laksa...

Mum cooked the mee hoon and mee kuning.... prepared everything... by 9 a.m. everything was ready and set on the living room table...

my cousin came with her family as they were going back to bandar, usually she will drop by our house...

mum was happy to entertain the guests... they left around 10+ a.m.

after that, no one showed up... until around 9.45 p.m.

and i told mum that nobody will eat the food she prepared 12 hours earlier as it was already quite late at night and i was sure that everybody was full if anyone comes to the house...

so i told our amah to just put everything the dishes back to the kitchen...

well, mum was already in the living room and the kitchen downstairs when i got down to assist the amah... mum was kinda mad a me when she shouted in her anger "BUANG SAJA SEMUA"... and i was shocked when she spilled that out to my face... in her anger...

hmm... what did i do that makes her mad? was it my fault that nobody turned up to our house today?
did i asked her to cook for today? No! I didn't do anything... she prepared everything by herself...
I was not part of the cooking...

and sadly, yesterday.... she also cooked laksa and prepared everything in a hope that someone will turn up and eat the food.... well, mum's siblings came after 8.30 p.m. and everybody was already full after eating at my mum's younger brother's house... hmm... the same routine every year....

this is sad... mum lost her husband, my father two years ago and mum's siblings are not even supportive of my mum's loss.... they simply close one eye and put mum the LAST ONE to visit....
i feel sad and it really hurts that another younger brother of my mum has not came to visit her and it is already the second day of raya... mum is the eldest of all siblings.. she TOOK CARE of her younger siblings, fed them, bathed them, while mum was also taking care of my elder brothers and sisters.... how could they treat mum like this????

mum is the eldest, they should treat her as their 'mum' and not as someone least important...
similarly, my late father was the eldest in his family.... but the same thing happens...

is it fated that they both not really accepted by their family?
Just because mum got married early to my dad, does that mean that they should shift away from mum or dad? hmm.... i just don't understand...

other people have Tua laki, Tua bini and nenek... they visited them first.... but i guess they have forgotten the hierarchy in a family tree... so disappointing.... but this is a true fact...

but in all, the one who has to face this is ME.... i had to swallow everything... who am i to deserve this? hmm....

sama seperti selalu....

everything is the same like always....

tiada yg istimewa...

i guess nobody ever cares as much as i do...

two years passed and things were getting worse...

no more text messages....

only 3-lines of replies....

silence.... is torture....

friendship was thrown away just because i was considered as someone he was forced to befriend...

kesian aku.... selalu kena cemani...

well... what ever did i do to deserve this....???

sabar tah saja....

:'(